Saturday, January 22, 2011

First nativity story

I wonder how I would react when the time to be born my first daughter arrives. I have heard that some jumped the wall out of panic though they had the gate remote…

My one-day story starts from 1am on 18 January 2011 when I was awaken by my wife: ‘babs – I think my water is breaking’. From there on, started a day which seemed will never end.

Twenty minutes later; I was in the hospital waiting room. Night shift nurses busy in their offices, I was left with 26 empty chairs, no Tv, nobody to talk to just a hope that my wife would give me a call to come over once emergency procedures were over.

So lonely, yet so happy to end nine months of patience and ‘lost in mind’ at the idea to becoming a dad.

I am checking my watch; I must be there in the delivery room when my girl arrives…
Twelve hours later, I was still at hospital, up and down, calling and smsing my wife in the maternity hall. She was in huge pain – more than we imagine. I became so stressed but I try keep my hope thinking that her being at this mother and child specialist’s hospital would avoid us biter surprises.

Anyway, at 3pm, I decided to go back home and comeback later. As going, I found myself leaving the hospital behind seven “Sisi” with no idea that I was going to be part of an interesting ride back home.

After the security guard checked my bag, I realised that none of them entered the taxi. Why? Because the back seat was empty. For those of you who never use public transport in Joburg, a standard taxi has 5 long seats to carry 13 passengers. But the inconvenience is that the back seat squeezes 4 people no-matter their size and shape. So, seeing those “Sisi” outside meant that I was candidate for the unwanted seat…eish. I played gentleman of cause, Kamikaze I should say…to be squashed by three hundreds pounds of “African shapes and curves”. Already two minutes in that seat, I could not feel my laps.

Soon as the taxi was in motion, something interesting started…corporate gossip! Free-Good-gossip I would say. That helped me think about other things than just the woman I love that is in pain.

Squeezed but so lucky though to seat just close to the main gossiper. Beautiful, strong and funny woman - my right neighbor hijacked the taxi. She got everyone attention and laughter with her jokes. These are situations that you would never experience alone in your own car…really free comedy.

In fact, I could not understand everything but could grasp the funniest parts;…morata, flying hormones, don’t taste my knowledge, we are into trouble… I realised that these seven Sisi in medical uniform were soon to become doctors and that they have been attending a workshop at the hospital I spent my night at. One thing for sure, they hated their supervisors as she was giving them hard time.

As unforgettable as was this nativity day, the contagious laugh in the taxi made everyone smiling. It was raining in Joburg and I had to go home, fix the house left in limbo of ‘water break’s’ panic. By the time I reach home, I have collected my pieces…I was in Adam’s mood. Going stronger, I realised that for these Sisi, the supervisor was just a step on their way to a bigger achievement. From there on, I remember stories I read and heard about how husbands panic when labour time nocks. I was doing no so bad – the gossip and laughter was a positive fate.

Yet, Daddy-to-become I still to make my mind – should or should her not accept C-section after 11 hours into contractions.

Thanks to technology, not only online forum provided us with so much step-by-step knowledge (insight) on pregnancy, also the use of mobile phone in maternity allowed me as talking to my wife to experience the screenings of women in contraction for the first time. I should say, out of what I listened; labour must be a painful experience. That explains why some of us love our mum so deeply. Women deserve respect and I love my wife even more! I told a friend soon after.

Back at hospital an hour later, I have been told that she was no more in the same hall. Wondering what happened, I went up and down to check lists of newly deliveries. At the moment a black woman in the forties (Her Dr) asked me; is Mariah George your wife? It took seconds for me to say ‘YES’. I knew that would mean - yes to ‘daddihood’. She has done great and you have a baby girl, she said.

From that instant until two days after, I did not know how to feel or react. Inside I was excited but overwhelmed at the same time with responsibilities now over my shoulder with this pretty, quiet human being. From the third day when I change my first nappy, I realised the bond that has started between her and myself. I suddenly fall in love with her…

While my crush on her still getting stronger, Today, I took time out to read comments, wishes and reactions from friends and families. So touched by everyone of them. It’s great to have lovely friends.

What have I learnt from my first nativity day? First of all, the joy that comes with becoming a daddy for the first time cannot be compared to how many sleepless night that may follow. Looking into my daughter “BLISS” innocent eyes and feel her trust is just osmosis. Secondly, if you want to live longer, you must learn to look at the good side of things. We chose to ignore lines that warn us about newborn hustles and sleepless nights. I remember being told, University studies are so hard, being married is so difficult life, pregnancy is a nightmare… and we have been through all of them.

So, life goes on. New experiences come with new challenges and new challenges brew further joy.

In God we trust.

Hahaha…please allow to say: Being single sucks…

I wish you find someone that you love. Life is about sharing.



Maureen Agena said...

Damn, why did the story end so first? That's so nice to read a father's experience. Now you know why women have to be respected. They hold Humanity for nine months. I wish you and Mariah a blessed Marriage.

Abner said...

Ohhhhhhhh! That was a nice and well contructed story, I believe Mariah George Busungu Mukendi will find time to read it and understand how much you treasure her.

It is clear my friend you were in labour pain though Mariah was in bed! You had the feeling just like any other person and thats what makes you a "Father" the job begins.

I am dearly happy for you guys, You cant imagine I called several times on the seme date to your wife and even sent a text which were in vain then I noticed that my friend "your wife" must be already in her delivery bed and last night I recieved her FB mail that the baby is already on earth!

I pray that God give you strength, wisdom and peace in bringing up the new born as you just have put it, being a father brings a number of challenges and that calls for clear thinking and compromising a lot. No going out as you used to do, not enough sleep, you have to clean the nappies just like you have started and many more which at some point might not interest you! Take a heavy heart and bring the baby well.

penning of with a lot of joy for you guys and I beleieve I will one day meet the new born!

Stay blessed!

Mark Okello

Nonkululeko Godana said...

Hi Adam. What a wonderful story. Like Maureen said, it truly is a pleasure to read about the experience from a father's perspective. I reckon you should keep writing about this , could inspire a lot of men to follow suit.

Congratulations to you and Mariah.

Adam N. Mukendi said...

Thanks to you all @Maureen @Abner and @Nonkululeko. The fatherhood expereince has just began.