Saturday, January 22, 2011

First nativity story

I wonder how I would react when the time to be born my first daughter arrives. I have heard that some jumped the wall out of panic though they had the gate remote…

My one-day story starts from 1am on 18 January 2011 when I was awaken by my wife: ‘babs – I think my water is breaking’. From there on, started a day which seemed will never end.

Twenty minutes later; I was in the hospital waiting room. Night shift nurses busy in their offices, I was left with 26 empty chairs, no Tv, nobody to talk to just a hope that my wife would give me a call to come over once emergency procedures were over.

So lonely, yet so happy to end nine months of patience and ‘lost in mind’ at the idea to becoming a dad.

I am checking my watch; I must be there in the delivery room when my girl arrives…
Twelve hours later, I was still at hospital, up and down, calling and smsing my wife in the maternity hall. She was in huge pain – more than we imagine. I became so stressed but I try keep my hope thinking that her being at this mother and child specialist’s hospital would avoid us biter surprises.

Anyway, at 3pm, I decided to go back home and comeback later. As going, I found myself leaving the hospital behind seven “Sisi” with no idea that I was going to be part of an interesting ride back home.

After the security guard checked my bag, I realised that none of them entered the taxi. Why? Because the back seat was empty. For those of you who never use public transport in Joburg, a standard taxi has 5 long seats to carry 13 passengers. But the inconvenience is that the back seat squeezes 4 people no-matter their size and shape. So, seeing those “Sisi” outside meant that I was candidate for the unwanted seat…eish. I played gentleman of cause, Kamikaze I should say…to be squashed by three hundreds pounds of “African shapes and curves”. Already two minutes in that seat, I could not feel my laps.

Soon as the taxi was in motion, something interesting started…corporate gossip! Free-Good-gossip I would say. That helped me think about other things than just the woman I love that is in pain.

Squeezed but so lucky though to seat just close to the main gossiper. Beautiful, strong and funny woman - my right neighbor hijacked the taxi. She got everyone attention and laughter with her jokes. These are situations that you would never experience alone in your own car…really free comedy.

In fact, I could not understand everything but could grasp the funniest parts;…morata, flying hormones, don’t taste my knowledge, we are into trouble… I realised that these seven Sisi in medical uniform were soon to become doctors and that they have been attending a workshop at the hospital I spent my night at. One thing for sure, they hated their supervisors as she was giving them hard time.

As unforgettable as was this nativity day, the contagious laugh in the taxi made everyone smiling. It was raining in Joburg and I had to go home, fix the house left in limbo of ‘water break’s’ panic. By the time I reach home, I have collected my pieces…I was in Adam’s mood. Going stronger, I realised that for these Sisi, the supervisor was just a step on their way to a bigger achievement. From there on, I remember stories I read and heard about how husbands panic when labour time nocks. I was doing no so bad – the gossip and laughter was a positive fate.

Yet, Daddy-to-become I still to make my mind – should or should her not accept C-section after 11 hours into contractions.

Thanks to technology, not only online forum provided us with so much step-by-step knowledge (insight) on pregnancy, also the use of mobile phone in maternity allowed me as talking to my wife to experience the screenings of women in contraction for the first time. I should say, out of what I listened; labour must be a painful experience. That explains why some of us love our mum so deeply. Women deserve respect and I love my wife even more! I told a friend soon after.

Back at hospital an hour later, I have been told that she was no more in the same hall. Wondering what happened, I went up and down to check lists of newly deliveries. At the moment a black woman in the forties (Her Dr) asked me; is Mariah George your wife? It took seconds for me to say ‘YES’. I knew that would mean - yes to ‘daddihood’. She has done great and you have a baby girl, she said.

From that instant until two days after, I did not know how to feel or react. Inside I was excited but overwhelmed at the same time with responsibilities now over my shoulder with this pretty, quiet human being. From the third day when I change my first nappy, I realised the bond that has started between her and myself. I suddenly fall in love with her…

While my crush on her still getting stronger, Today, I took time out to read comments, wishes and reactions from friends and families. So touched by everyone of them. It’s great to have lovely friends.

What have I learnt from my first nativity day? First of all, the joy that comes with becoming a daddy for the first time cannot be compared to how many sleepless night that may follow. Looking into my daughter “BLISS” innocent eyes and feel her trust is just osmosis. Secondly, if you want to live longer, you must learn to look at the good side of things. We chose to ignore lines that warn us about newborn hustles and sleepless nights. I remember being told, University studies are so hard, being married is so difficult life, pregnancy is a nightmare… and we have been through all of them.

So, life goes on. New experiences come with new challenges and new challenges brew further joy.

In God we trust.

Hahaha…please allow to say: Being single sucks…

I wish you find someone that you love. Life is about sharing.


Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Congolese People in love with One South African Woman

‘…not a polyandry talk but our deep appreciation’ says FOCAS Executive Director, Serge Mubuilu.

Yesterday, the Congolese community led by the Forum of the Congolese Organizations in South Africa (FOCAS) walked the streets of Yeoville to raise awareness about prejudice and violation of Human Rights perpetrated by militia and neighbouring countries’ armies in the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) and used the occasion to praise the Judge Navanethem Pillay’s Mapping Report which clearly indicates that DRC’s neighbours are extremely implicated in destabilising the East Congo.

Personally, I would wish that this be the starting of a new era of public awareness and truth about the situation in the Eastern DRC where violations of Human Rights have been so severe than in any other region in the world. Despite independent reports arguing that there has been bigger genocide in Eastern DRC than that of Tutsi in Rwanda - nobody really cares?

It is not a secret that geopolitics and greediness of multinationals are pulling strings in the situation in DRC and International media agencies, international organisations on Human Rights and the Africa Union have been all passive to atrocities happening at date in what they call ‘the forgotten war’.

I have no doubt that the deep hope of poor dispersed, killed or enslaved young men, women and children in the East is to see more alignment under Pillay’s courage foot-prints.

May be the time has arrived to galvanise the whole Congolese civil society in perspective of presidential election next year. May be this is the time to take action and support those who dare to speak and expose the truth.

A woman gave us Jesus…a woman may be showing us the way to courage.

Here FOCAS Press Release:
All the Congolese People in love with One South African woman

On the 4th of January, Congolese people remember those of them who lost their lives for independence which should have triggered the advent of an economic justice different from the colonial economy of exploitation which caused the death of about Eight millions Congolese. After 50 year of independence, the Martyrs’ day was a double event that added on the commemoration of the martyrs of independence all the martyrs of Justice and victims of Human Rights violence, (Patrice Emery Lumumba, Floribert TShebeya,…,) atrocities, massacres and Genocide of the Congolese people that has happened in the country since 1993 up to date .

Many Congolese and other Congo friends joined the barefoot march convened by the Forum of the Congolese Organizations in South Africa (FOCAS) along Rocky Street in Yeoville to commemorate the double event and demand Justice.

Mr. Serge Mubilulu, the Executive Director of the Forum indicated that the barefoot march was organized to protest against genocide that is ongoing in their country and to demand the trial of perpetrators. We are determined to claim Justice for Congolese people and we want the all world to be aware of the genocide that happened in the DRC and therefore be actively involved in the justice process in the DRC, he said. We all love Judge Navanethem Pillay and thank our fellow African sister, a South African Mama who fought apartheid, for resisting different pressures from our enemies and publishing the UN mapping report that has laid an unyielding foundation of the justice process in the DRC, he added.

In fact, last year in August French media(Le Monde) published a draft of the UN mapping report which accused Rwanda of committing genocide in the DRC and many neighboring countries’ armies, rebel groups and individuals in the DRC of perpetrating grave human rights violations and massacres in the DRC.

Later, in October last year, after many pressures from Rwanda and Kagame’s friends, the final report was published with changes uttering that crimes were committed and if investigated by an appropriate court, those massacres could be tantamount to Genocide.

Taking that report as a strategic instrument of struggle for justice, the Congolese people are grateful to the South African woman who published it.

Mr. Bakengeshi Twendele, the Executive Secretary of FOCAS revealed that arrangements are on track to award human rights defender prize to Navanethem Pillay the South African woman loved by all the Congolese.--//

Pillay's act may be a drop in ocean but joining positive action from each individual Congolese or non Congolese wanting to see change in Eastern DRC will make the differnce. It is sad though that FOCAS website is not operational. Hopefully they will get it back on track to lead those who care.